Prescot Cables 2 - 2 Mossley

After my less than joyous experiences of phoning up grounds to find out the scores of Mossley games this season, I decided early on last night not to spend the majority of my time phoning a number that very likely wouldn't be answered. This meant that the first part of the evening was spent in the company of the Sky Sports web site live score ticker - at once the most boring and exciting thing in the world.

For the most part it is simply a dull, static screen but when the list at the bottom moves up to herald the arrival of an update you're on the edge of your seat. The split second it takes for the new information to appear is the football equivalent of the black screen between 'A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...' and the opening bar of the Star Wars theme - it can make the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end.

Sadly for the majority of non-league fans it only reaches those moments of high excitement when the half and full-time scores from the professional games have been reported. So once all the European Cup, Championship and Johnstone Paint Trophy (surely it should be a pot rather than a trophy?) fixtures had gone through it was time for the non-league scores.

Rymans League... Rymans again... Ossett are beating Whitby... more Rymans... Stalybridge two down at home, that Reporter team photo's looks like it could be out of date soon (fingers crossed)... Marine are two up at home to Burscough... and then at 20:37pm:


Woo and, indeed, hoo! Unlike the other matches there's no scorer given but who cares? We're a goal to the good. Goodness knows what was going on at the Staines Town - Slough game though (the next updates to come through)!

I was intending to carry on 'watching' the second half in this manner until I caught a bit of Sky Sports News' 'Soccer Saturday' special. Apart from the use of the word 'soccer' (and Saturday on a Tuesday) it is a fantastic programme, at least it is when it's hosted by Jeff Stelling - one of, if not the best sports presenters on UK television. Sadly the midweek ones are usually presented by Rob 'ermmmm' McAffrey and as such are less than essential viewing, hence the reason why I was glued to the internet.

However one glimpse of Peter Beagrie reporting live from a game and I was hooked, not because of his analysis but the manner in which it was being presented. Caught in the glare of an incredibly bright spotlight his pieces were not too dissimilar to the clips of POW's in the first Gulf War having to renounce their country's actions to camera. Not only that but he was making words up as he went along, my particular favourite being 'differenable'.And just when you thought that it couldn't get any better (or worse) - it did.

Instead of cutting back to the studio after one report finished the camera remained on the former Everton player, his gaze fixed directly on the camera lens. As the seconds ticked by the sweats started and his eyes got wider and wider as panic flashed across his face. At the precise moment it looked like we'd have a 'Scanners' situation broadcast live to the nation we were suddenly back to Paul Merson trying to convince viewers that Steve Bruce is a good manager whilst chants of 'Bruce Out' can be heard from the screen he's watching.

As the final whistles blew it was back to the edge of my seat in anticipation of a Mossley win. Up came the seemingly never ending stream of Rymans League results... Burscough have won at Marine... Flipping heck! Stalybridge have won, we'll stuck with that damn picture again... Fleetwood beat Kendal... Where's the Mossley result... Ilkeston have lost... Come on Mossley... Aaarrrgghh! Adverts... No I don't want to consolidate my loans, I want you to shove that football up your backside and get off the screen so they can put the results back on... Good Grief! Windy Millers waving a newspaper at a naked puppets groin... Here we go, we're back on... NOOOOOOOOO! They've stopped the results ticker.

Off to the PC, on to the live scores page and there it is: Prescot 2 - Mossley 2

At least it was a point but as to whether it was a good one or not... I'm not sure. Once again Mossley's knack this season for gifting comedy goals apparently came to the fore; this weeks submission to the football blooper Chritmas DVD market - Christian Cooke heading the ball past Danny Trueman to give the hosts a point in the last minute.

However there was one landmark moment in the game. After four years worth of attempts, Mossley actually scored from a long throw. Now I've just got to make sure that I don't miss the second one in 2010... ;-)