There's A Chorley Preview Hidden In This

As Monty Python bores will tell you between Nudge-Nudge Winks-Winks, Ni's and choir invisible's, “No-one expects the Spanish Inquisition”. Especially when you're phoning a call centre in Newcastle.

At least that is what it was like when I phoned up Orange in an attempt to get them to send me my broadband migration code. Virtually every sentence from the opposite end of the phone began with why.: Why this? Why that? Why when? Why where? Why?

It got to a situation that was not unlike that famous moment on Newsnight when Jeremy Paxman kept asking Michael Howard the same question about a prison governor. But instead of “Did you threaten to over rule him?” it was me continually repeating the mantra “Could I have a MAC code please?” with increasing weariness.

After finally being called crazy for not accepting the “fantastic deal” being offered to keep me as a customer, I was curtly told that my code would arrive by e-mail within the next few days*.

By this point you're probably asking yourselves what any of that has to do with the price of fish, so I'll tell you. The time I've spent doing the above (and listening Amy Winehouse singing 'Valerie' while being transferred to various departments in two different parts of the globe) is the time I normally write the match preview, and that's why it's going to be shorter than usual.

“But couldn't you have spent the time writing the opening five paragraphs (and this one) doing the preview instead?” Well, yes I could have but... but ... ... oh flip!

The Magpies arrive at Seel Park with Mossley at their lowest ebb of the season: 10 games (almost a third of our current league season) without a win and coming off the back of a spanking at home to the team second from bottom of the league.

In fact it's the kind of situation Chorley themselves were in when we made the journey to Victory Park a little over a month ago. Not only were they struggling for points, they went into that game a mere three days after being whupped 7 – 0 and, in the same time frame, had sacked their management team and appointed a new one. The result of which was a rather convincing 3 – 1 victory, despite Mossley having taken an early lead.

The thorn in Mossley's side that day (or to be more precise, night) was ex-Lilywhite Steve Burke who scored two of Chorley's goals and could, and probably should, have had a few more.

Since that meeting Chorley have managed to put a bit more distance between themselves and the foot of the table (they're unbeaten in the last five league outings) and now sit two points and a place below us in 14th spot.

Now I'm off to try something far easier than getting my MAC code off Orange like extracting blood from a stone or managing to sit through an episode of Most Haunted Live without shouting “charlatan”, “gullible idiots” or “why the hell am I watching this crap?” at the screen.

Prediction: I have a strong gut feeling about this one - a win for Mossley.

* Credit where credit is due though, I've received my code just a couple of hours after requesting it.