Shaking All Over. Briefly.

The title screen from the film Earthquake and not just some random picture with the word pasted across it in a huge font

So, how many of you got asked "Did the earth move for you last night?" by someone smugly under the belief that they were the only person to have thought that one up today?

If your response to that question was yes, can I ask the rhetorical question, "Weird wasn't it?"

As I lay on my shaking bed, watching a glass of water and my spectacles inch themselves towards the edge of the shelf next to me, I've got to admit that 'earthquake' was not the first thing to cross my mind. Never having knowingly experienced one before the only point of reference I had for this particular kind of situation was one viewing of 'The Exorcist' many moons ago.

After asking myself, what would Father Merrick do? I was just about to shout out "The power of Christ compels you" and set off on the hunt for the Gideon's Bible I got given at school when everything stopped shaking and, moments later, the noise (a combination of a roaring/rumbling/rushing sound) disappeared as well.

Swiftly coming to the conclusion that the seventh seal hadn't been opened as Judgement Day is likely to last more than ten seconds (and be a tad noisier in the screaming stakes) it dawned on me that what had happened was an earthquake. Or as it's more commonly known in Britain, an earth tremor.

As numerous radio stations began to interrupt their programmes to read out e-mails from people all over the country wondering if there had indeed been an earthquake, I turned on Sky News to be greeted by a whole host of retina scorching red and white 'Breaking News' strap lines running across the screen. Surely at night time they can use something in more of a pastel hue to announce breaking news so that those switching on aren't left stumbling around like they've just witnessed the meteor shower in 'The Day of the Triffids'.

With reports coming in from all over the place about the tremors, the newsreader noticeably began to get excited, no doubt in the belief that this could be one of the career making moments. That excitement was visibly replaced by one of disappointment when it became obvious from the calls they were putting on air that the main story was going to be nearer 'budgerigars and other pets go a bit mental' rather than 'thousands dead - London okay'.

Her promotion to daylight hours could be some time away too judging by the following piece of improvisation when the information on where the tremors emanated from: "We're just getting reports that the epicentre is 15 miles north of Lincoln. We're just waiting for confirmation whether it's north, south, east or west of Lincoln"

Personally I blame television for the wobble last night. Only a couple of weeks ago the BBC repeated the Charlton Heston film 'Earthquake', and if showing that old rubbish again isn't tempting fate then I don't know what is. Or maybe Wednesday mornings shakes were just an elaborate ruse

Still it's very good news that no-one was seriously hurt and even better news for the chimney pot repairmen of Lincolnshire, Humberside and South Yorkshire.

If you're desperate to see someone getting hurt though, here's another clip from You Tube that comes under the category “It’s funny because it isn’t you or anyone you know”. And frankly, anyone who attempts a handstand on a fully operational treadmill deserves to be pointed and laughed at:

0 Comments: