The Uniband League

Insomnia is horrible.

As you lie awake for hours on end on all sorts of things start to go through your mind. One minute you’re desperately trying to remember the name of more than five Wombles and the next you realise that each passing second is one closer to the next momentous tragedy in your life. And once that invades your stream of conscience you’ve got no chance whatsoever of journeying to the land of Nod.

It was a situation like this I found myself in last night. After a good hour spent mentally listing the major characters in Twin Peaks I realised that I had to do something else to stave off the impending negative thoughts. Which dark recess of the mind ‘non-league football bands’ suddenly came from I’ve no idea but I was extremely grateful.

Until this morning that is when I was sat at work still trying think of them, a task made all the harder by my less than encyclopaedic knowledge of music – popular or otherwise. So I’m going to throw it out to you, the readers, in a desperate attempt to fill in the blanks (or add to the list) or else I’m never going to get round to lying awake, trying to remember the words to the ‘Jamie and the Magic Torch’ theme.

Uniband Premier
Johnny Cashton United
Fleetwood Mac (obviously)
Sly & the Family Ilkeston
Lincoln Park
North Brian Ferriby
Diana Rossett Town
S’Exprescot Cables
Stock, Aitken and Waterman Park Steels
Ralph McTelford
Whitby Houston

The Rest
Abba Hey
FCUB Seven
Huey Lewis and the Newcastle Town
Shepshed DynaCarroll
Sigur Rossendale
Roy Woodley and Wizzard

Admittedly it isn’t an impressively lengthy list but can you do better? I hope so because that Non-League directory is awfully big.