Kendal Town 3 - 1 Mossley

After shattering Wotan's spear and negotiating the impenetrable fire to reach the mountain top, it seems that Siegfried has removed the breastplate from the rather rotund female form of Brunnhilde, declared “Das ist kein Mann” and awoken her from her slumber.

Now I appreciate that those of you without a passing knowledge of part three of Wagner's Ring Cycle will probably be wondering at this point what on earth this has to do with Mossley, so bear with me as I explain.

What happens next in the Teutonic bum-number is that Brunnhilde joins Siegfried in a forty minute love duet that brings the opera to a close, a mere five and a half hours after it began. In other words: the end is in sight and the fat lady is about to sing. See, it's not as tenuous as you might have thought.

If we're being truthful though she’s been gargling in readiness since Christmas, particularly after the derby double header with Ashton United when Mossley snatched a defeat from the jaws of victory at Seel Park and settled for a point in the return fixture at Hurst Cross while the hosts successfully pushed for three. Admittedly those two defeats sandwiched an impressive 4-0 victory over Frickley Athletic but looking back on the season as a whole, the fears that some people had at the time of it being just an anomalous result sadly appear to have been proven correct.

Whilst safety for Mossley is still a theoretical possibility so is faster than light travel, though it has to be said that the chances of the latter happening within the next three weeks are probably greater than that of the former.

With text messaging providing a more than adequate link between events at Hurst Cross and the Planet Conservatories Stadium the decision was made, for a few of us at least, to forego the delights that a Bank Holiday Monday trip up the M6 would undoubtedly bring in favour of the ever so slightly shorter journey across Luzley to watch Ashton United take on Leek Town.

At nine minutes past three, the exact same moment that Leek were opening their account for the afternoon, a message arrived stating that Kendal had taken the lead. Not long after the news of a second for the Cumbrian side came through. When the SMS tone sounded again four minutes later it has to be said that we were fearing the worst and we weren’t to be ‘disappointed’.

The next message announcing that Clive have pulled one back for the Lilywhites brought a little cheer but as Leek proceeded to take Ashton apart with ruthless efficiency, further messages proclaiming news of a breathtaking Mossley comeback were sadly lacking; no resurrection for us this Easter.

So whilst it may not have been the final nail in the coffin, still breath in the body, etc. the defeat to Kendal has left Mossley's hopes of Premier Division survival based on a long series ifs and ifs. One of those ifs is dependent on Ashton failing to pick up a point for the rest of the season, something which looks likely to happen judging by their performance at home to Leek. Though the Robins sparked into life towards the end of the game, pulling one goal back before displaying a Mossley-like acumen in the art of taking penalties by blasting a spot-kick high over the bar, you can't see them picking up another point before the end of April. Unfortunately the same can be said of Mossley which automatically makes most of the other ifs in the equation redundant.

I feel I should be angry or at least upset at the impending prospect of life in a lower division but as its seemed for so long like an inevitability I think I've developed an immunity to the despondency it brings. Having said that it wouldn't surprise me if there was a twist before the end of the season that sees the last straw of safety dangled tantalisingly in front of us again to clutch at.

But until (and if) that happens lets wait with dignity and humour for Brunnhilde to bellow forth and then join in with gusto and look forward to starting all over again next season.