Mossley 0 - 1 Skelmersdale United

Home may be where the heart is but it definitely isn't where the points are for Mossley.

While performances away from home have generally been impressive this season, their home form has been a touch more enigmatic. It's hard to put a finger on as to why this is the case but certainly conceding goals in the manner in which they did in this game certainly doesn't help.

It's been said by a few people this season that Mossley don't concede good goals, only poor ones and this one only adds weight to that argument.

With a little over twenty minutes left, what was nothing more than a hopeful punt from deep within the Skelmerdale half caught Mossley's defence at sixes and sevens and substitute Chris Almond, who'd only been on the pitch a matter of minutes, took full advantage of the space afforded to him to slip the ball under Andy Robertson.

To make matters worse for Mossley it turned out to be the only goal in what was otherwise a very tight game and one in which both sides had spent the majority of it cancelling each other out.

Having said that things did look a trifle ominous for the home side in the opening ten minutes of the fixture; a period of time in which they were almost exclusively confined to their own half. Fortunately their defending was solid and Skelmersdale's highly rated attack were restricted to nothing more than the occasional overly optimistic effort from distance.

After weathering the early storm Mossley started to come into the game more and by the midway point the roles were reversed with Skelmersdale being forced to defend deep. Like their opponents though the Lilywhites were making little headway in converting that possession into an advantage on the score sheet as a combination of a well drilled defence and poor deliveries from the wings and set pieces brought some promising moves to a premature end.

As half-time neared both sides attacks managed to start finding a few cracks in their opponents back lines and after Robertson had been forced into making a fingertip save from Sean McConville, the home side went close when Danny Egan hit the foot of the post, Graham Kay flashed a header narrowly wide of the same upright following a corner and keeper Ryan McMahon made hard work of Reece Kelly's twenty yard daisy cutter.

The second period if anything was even tighter. Chances, even half ones, were non-existent as both sides effectively cancelled one another out and the longer the game wore on, the more it looked like both sides would play out a goalless stalemate. But then came that momentary lapse in the 69th minute and it was effectively game over the Lilywhites.

It shouldn't have been as with almost a quarter of the match left there was still plenty of time for Mossley to rescue at least a point, but by dropping their passing game and resorting to the long ball down the centre of the pitch, the Lilywhites played straight to Skelmersdale's defensive strengths.

It was a decision that was as baffling as it was irritating to watch as Mossley continually surrendered possession using a tactic that not only failed to utilise any of our many strong points, but proved fruitless in recent games against opponents of a similar high quality to Skelmersdale.

So instead of McMahon being forced to endure a torrid time in the closing stages as the Lilywhites went in search of an equaliser, the United goalkeeper was effectively a spectator as his defence soaked up the succession of balls being dropped into them.

The visitors were denied the opportunity to register what would have been a very flattering scoreline when the referee waved away their appeals for a penalty as the end of the game neared. Its non-awarding can possibly be put down to Skelmersdale having 'cried wolf' far too often in the game.

Before the game there was some of the discussion on the terraces as to whether we'd see the 'Lawson gambit' again. This for those who don't know what it is dates from Skem manager Tommy Lawson's time as boss at Prescot when they employed a tactic that saw a Cables player scream and fall to the ground claiming to be injured every time they lost the ball. Not only was it irritating it was poor incredibly poor gamesmanship too and befitting of a team that was frankly good enough not to have to resort to it. And lo and behold it made a return in this game too.

Fortunately, despite the other criticisms that can be levelled against him, the referee for the most part refused to be taken in by these dubious shenanigans. The main perpetrator was full back Shaun Foster who spent most of the match falling over and holding his leg, even when it was blindingly obvious that no contact had taken place. His third attempt at claiming something untoward had gone on finally invoked a talking to from the match official and his fourth should have earned him a belated yellow card.

A rare moment caught on camera: Foster in an upright position

He wasn't the only one at it either. In the closing minutes midfielder Adam Birchall had the ball taken off him by Chris Hirst and as the Mossley player pulled away the Skem number eight collapsed to the ground and rolled around while claiming he'd been intentionally stood on. This was followed by a scream, the kind of which probably hasn't been heard since Torquemada and his employees were forced to down tools. The referee rightly waved play on and without any hint of embarrassment Birchall immediately got up and was running about without even the good grace to feign a limp. Hardly surprising that the shout of 'cheat' echoed round the terraces so often during the course of the match from the home supporters.

This isn't sour grapes. We gave it a good go but we lost the game. It's just that while Skelmersdale are undoubtedly a good side (centre half Michael White was possibly the best player on the pitch) their spirit of the game betraying theatrics are appalling and, just as they were for Prescot in the NWCL, completely unnecessary.

But what of Mossley? Skelmersdale's much vaunted forward line were made to look like shot shy amateurs and considering we'd been forced into making changes to what had been a relatively settled line-up thanks to the bruising encounter at Maine Road in midweek, we looked incredibly comfortable against one of the form teams in the league.

Like figure skating though all it needs to ruin everything is a single slip and that's what cost us this game – that brief and sole error which allowed Almond to nip in and settle the game. The problem for Mossley however is that while other teams are pouncing on the one or two mistakes we make, we're letting them get away with theirs, particularly at home and until that situation is rectified 'unlucky' is going to be the one word report for the foreseeable future.

January was always going to be a tough month at Seel Park for the Lilywhites with the fixture list throwing them up against Curzon, Lancaster and Skelmersdale in quick succession. And the points tally from these games, one from a possible nine, would appear to bear this out.

The underlying story though is that Mossley's performances in all three games were worthy of more than the single point they attained. However their inability to capitalise on the moments in games when they were on top leaves them having to wait until February at the earliest before they can finally register their first home win in any competition since October.

Oh well. At least there's some small comfort in the fact that it's ever anything but dull at Seel Park.

Maine Road 2 - 4 Mossley

Last time out I promised a smaller match report and here it is.

Thank goodness I decided to keep my word too because If I was to describe every incident that happened in the game it would, if printed, have to be bound into at least three, shelf sagging volumes.

Therefore if you want to know more about the Jimmy the full back who almost had his name worn out, the frankly terrifying Maine Road number eight, some supporters having to watch two hours of football sober, heart in the mouth moments of sanity shredding passages of play, some very good football and enough wood and 69 jokes to last you five lifetimes – you should have gone.

I can give you the next best thing though - highlights (or the bits that weren't obstructed by the linesman's head) of the match, which are at the end of this post. Before that though, the bit you're going to skip in order to get to them.

Mossley's participation in the Manchester Premier Cup will last for at least another ninety minutes after they survived the kind of late twist that cup upsets are built on, to edge themselves past North West Counties League side Maine Road.

With eighty minutes of what had been a pretty entertaining, and sometimes rough, contest gone, the Lilywhites passage into the semi-finals of the Manchester Premier Cup looked be virtually guaranteed. Although two goals up thanks to first half strikes from Nick Boothby and a venomous thirty yard free-kick from Danny Dignan, the margin between the two sides was greater than the score line suggested.

For the third game running Mossley were creating an abundance of chances but struggling to put them away. Unlike against Curzon and Lancaster though where you felt such profligacy would be punished, there appeared to be no danger Maine Road pegging the lead back. It was a view that was reinforced when Maine Road were made to play out the final ten minutes of the match a man short after Brocklehurst was shown a straight red card for throwing a punch at Mossley full-back Alex Mortimer.

However nothing is simple in the world of Mossley AFC.

Bizarrely the dismissal seemed to trouble Mossley more than the team now at a numerical disadvantage. The Lilywhites play suddenly became ragged, composure was replaced by panic and Maine Road quickly began to exploit it. First to capitalise was Rothel with a smart chip over Andy Robertson before Struminski levelled the game with just ninety seconds remaining.

As expected the additional thirty minutes began with the North West Counties League side in the ascendency and the visitors more than a little shell shocked after the events in the closing stages of normal time. Over the course of the opening period of extra-time though the Lilywhites equanimity slowly returned and the extra man finally began to count as the impetus was wrestled away from their opponents.

Putting the ball into the back of the net however was again proving to be a problem and with every chance that flew just wide or into the keepers arms, the threat of a penalty shoot out loomed larger and larger.

Much to the relief of the majority of people stood inside the Brantingham Road ground that particular danger was averted in the 109th minute of the game. Picking up a loose ball on the edge of the box as support in a counter attack, Boothby notched his second of the evening by drilling the ball under keeper Jones. And the two goal cushion they'd held a little over half an hour earlier was restored when Dignan doubled his tally with a powerful shot from an acute angle.

Thankfully this time there was to be no miraculous comeback from Maine Road and confirmation of Mossley's place in the last four was signalled by both the final whistle and an even louder sigh of relief from many of the visitors to South Manchester.

It's impossible to deny that the game was closer than it should have been. There we were skipping merrily to a comfortable 2-0 victory and suddenly hell was unleashed. Particularly on the terraces where it was suffixed to a whole host of words my Catholic upbringing prevents me from repeating.

Some words I can use though to describe Mossley's performance are great, troubling, eccentric, unlucky... to be honest, such was the topsy turvy nature of their display that I doubt there's any adjective in the English language that couldn't be applied.

Still, the result is always the most important thing in a game of football and in the end it's the positive one we wanted. Along with the added bonus of another NWCL banana skin just about avoided.

So here we are at the highlights which include the Diggler Detonator (if you can come up with a better alliterative name for it, please let me know), some lots of very near misses, a red card (not the tackle but the red card) and a penalty claim that wouldn't fool Stevie Wonder if he had his eyes shut.

I hope you enjoy it. It'll have meant that the last three hours of my life weren't wasted:


And over the course of the next 24 hours or so there should be better quality version here.

In Your Head. Or Rather Mine...

Monday's are bad. Always have been, always will be.

Monday today was made even worse by having one of those mornings where you wake up with a song in your head and you can't get rid of it. And to make matters worse it wasn't just one song - it was a few, all operating in shuffle mode.

Now I'm not complaining because they were bad songs. They were actually ones I quite like but it's hard not to grow tired of them when they've been on a loop in your brain for over twelve hours. The songs in question are 'One Week' by the Bare Naked Ladies and the soundtrack to South Park: The Movie. Goodness why my subconscious chose these, I can't see any discernible link over than a vague Canadian one, but its selection has driven me mad all day.

At 7:30am while collating some stuff for the council I was humming aloud to Terence & Philip's 'Uncle F**ka' (thankfully I have the office to myself at that time of day). Three hours later I was punching numbers into the fax machine in time to the 'La Resistance' medley which I was merrily singing away to in my head.

After dinner, lunch if you're posh, when I should have been grappling with Office 2007 in an attempt finish a promotional leaflet, I was too busy internally debating whether the opening line to the verse after the first chorus in 'One Week' was 'Chick-ity China' or Chicken to China'. All before traipsing home in a blizzard muttering them to myself once more.

I swear that if they're not gone by this time tomorrow I'll be a gibbering wreck at the Maine Road game.

And in case you're wondering what those songs sound like, and in the hope that by getting someone else to listen to them the curse will pass on, Ringu style, here you go:

Uncle F**ka (Be warned! As the title suggests it contains rude words. Lots of them)


La Resistance:


One Week:


And while looking around for the last clip I found this which seems apt for this blog posting:


Hopefully tomorrow sanity will have once again prevailed.

Mossley 1 - 1 Lancaster City

With mere seconds of 2008 left I resolved that in the coming new year my match reports would be shorter and more perfunctory because, being the slow writer that I am, they take me forever to do.

As you can see if you scroll down to the bottom of this report (go on, I'll wait here for a couple of minutes while you do), I wasted micro moments of my life coming up with and sticking to that particular resolution.

At face value the point taken from this game looks like a good one. Not only was it one that finally brought to an end a three match losing streak at Seel Park that stretches back over two and a half weather disrupted months, it was a point gained against a side currently second in the league and one of the favourites for promotion. The 'whole story' however is that the solitary point should have been three; the Lilywhites once again paying the price for not finishing off their opponents when they had them on the proverbial rack.

The afternoon got off to a perfect start for the home side when Danny Self prodded home a Lee Blackshaw free-kick at the back post in only the second minute. Over the course of the following thirty Mossley created enough opportunities to have won the game three times over as they virtually laid siege to their opponents goal.

Danny Self prods Mossley into an early lead

Unlike their previous game against Curzon though where shooting accuracy, or rather the lack of it, was to blame for Mossley failure to make their domination of proceedings count, this time round it seemed like fate was conspiring against the men in the white shirts.

Self saw a shot bounce of upright, the ball was twice cleared off the goal line, City keeper Beesley pulled of a series of unorthodox, some would say fortunate, saves and on more than one occasion the ball was prevented from crossing the line by sheer good fortune than good defending - goal bound shots striking players oblivious to what was going on and bouncing off to safety.

If it was a boxing match a good referee would have stopped the contest. Sadly this was a game of football and a good referee didn't appear to be anywhere within the vicinity.

For the second time in five days though Mossley were hit with a sucker punch. Just as Curzon had done five days earlier Lancaster scored against the run of play. Not only was it their first shot on target, it looked like it had been mis-hit too but Adam Airey's bobbling effort in the 35th minute had enough pace on it to beat the outstretched arm of Andy Robertson and give his side a decidedly unmerited equaliser.

That said it was an incredibly soft goal to concede and something that has been happening rather too much of late. I mean, when was the last time you saw a side score a really good goal against us? On the whole we're pretty solid at the back but these momentary lapses in concentration are costing us dearly.

To Mossley's credit it didn't seem to affect them in anyway and from the restart they continued to put their opponents under pressure and City's goal continued to lead a charmed life. None more so than when a crisply struck shot from Michael Fish cannoned off the foot of the post and rolled along the goal line before being cleared.


After an opening forty five minutes packed with incident there was no reason to expect that the remaining three quarters of an hour wouldn't be any different. But just as they'd done in the midweek derby, Mossley returned to the pitch for the second period looking a shadow of their first half selves. Again the vigour that had defined their performance in the previous half was replaced by one of lethargy and hurried, wayward passes.

Fortunately for the home side though Lancaster, unlike Curzon, had no apparent desire to use this turn of events to their advantage. Only once did their surprisingly rudimentary approach look like paying dividends. It came in the 53rd minute when a hopeful lob from distance bounced back off the crossbar and to the feet of Paul Haddow who'd been allowed to ghost unmarked into the area by the Mossley defence. With the goal at his mercy he delayed his shot long enough to allow Robertson to recover from the initial effort and make a good save.

They had a couple of other half chances but nothing like or even numbering the openings the Lilywhites had carved out when kicking towards the same goal.

It wasn't until the 69th minute when Danny Dignan became the third Mossley player to strike the post that the home side began to rediscover their drive and invention. By this late stage of the game however their path to goal was being blocked by a wall of yellow shirts as City packed out their defence. It was a wall though that should have been without a component part for the closing minutes of the match.

An inch perfect pass from Chris Hirst put Danny Egan clean through on goal with only the keeper to beat. It was at this point though that he was upended by one of the most cynical challenges I've seen at Seel Park in many a year.

City centre half and captain Michael Stringfellow, with no chance of getting the ball himself, literally had to throw himself feet first at the Mossley forward to stop him getting his shot away (see picture below). It was three offences all worthy of a red card rolled into one. Not only did he deny a goal scoring opportunity (red card #1), it was a professional foul (red card #2) and both feet were off the ground - and high - as the 'tackle' was made (red card #3). The number of actual red cards shown though: none.

The challenge that the referee deemed in no way worthy of a card or a talking to.

Even as the body language of the Lancaster City players suggested they they were preparing to play out the final few minutes without a full compliment of players, the referee deemed the challenge not even worthy of a lecture. And in doing so reinforced the conclusions many supporters had come to about him since 3:00pm.

I've said it before in the past and I'll reiterate again here: referee's don't lose you games. What they can do however is make it a damn sight harder for you to win and the official in this game, who shall remain nameless because I don't want to give his ego a boost by the thought that I've actually bothered to look up who he was, sadly fell in that category.

Even ignoring his refusal to punish Lancaster with nothing more than a free-kick for the cynical foul in the closing moments, his refusal to punish them at any time in the match was staggering. Simon Wood was booked for three challenges on Lee Dodgson (only one of which was an actual foul) yet Northern Rail late challenges on Alex Mortimer and Danny Dignan in the second half didn't even have him contemplating putting the whistle to his lips.

Some of Stringfellow's earlier work leaves Dignan in a heap.

I hate criticising officials, and you'll have seen very little of it on this blog over the years, but at times they do themselves absolutely no favours at all.

Having seen Lancaster play already this season, albeit only once at Curzon Ashton, I said before the game that on the evidence of that match I couldn't understand how they were as highly positioned in the league as they were. Admittedly one game can give a false impression but I saw nothing different from them in this game to alter my opinion.

Unless I've had the misfortune to see City's two worst performances of the 08/09 campaign so far, how the thuddering funk are they at hovering around the top of the table? Along with Halifax, another team whose league position masks the fact they're nothing special, it makes you wonder about the quality of the division this year.

This isn't a criticism of Mossley. We're still a work in progress and it's a progress I'm not alone in being happy with, but where's the justice in good footballing sides such as us, Newcastle, Trafford, etc. occupying spots in mid-table and just outside they play-offs when unadventurous sides such as the “big guns” mentioned in the previous paragraph can bore and scuff their way to glory?

Deep breaths and calm...

Unlucky hardly seems the appropriate condolence to Mossley after this game but it is the only one that fits. I know that you're supposed to make your own luck in football but if that's the case Lancaster must filled with factories manufacturing the stuff for their team.


If we carry on playing as we are then it will only be a matter of time before one of our opponents leaves the pitch at the end of a match in a beleaguered fashion, having been on the receiving of a medieval beating. Scoreline wise and not in the Curzon sense of the term.

It's hard to fault the team after a game like this one but I'll give it a go. ;)

Actually there was very little to complain about and what there is just seems pickly. I've already mentioned conceding soft goals way, way up above this little paragraph but the long ball from front to back which was overused against Curzon also outstayed its welcome in this one.

Used sparingly it's a nice weapon to have in the armoury but it reached the point in this game where Lancaster knew what was coming and more often than not as the game wore it launched more attacks for them than it did for us.

Outside of those quibbles though I find myself a touch ebullient about the position we're now in. We're playing good football, there's strength in depth and while we're not winning matches we're certainly giving it a damn good go. And win or lose that's all you ask for as a supporter.

It's certainly a world away from this time two years ago when we were on a run of one win in fourteen, and the same stage last season when we were embarking on a run of one win in thirteen with tough game against Skelmersdale honing into view on the horizon.

Not everything changes though. Up next in the league for Mossley – a tough game against Skelmersdale.


And fingers crossed that by next week I'll have finally got round to acting upon my New Year's promises.

Mossley 0 - 2 Curzon Ashton

Football returned to Seel Park after a nine week weather enforced absence and with a bump rather than a bang as Mossley got 2009 off to a losing start.

Actually bump isn't the right word. Horrendously, late and tackles are three ones that seem awfully more appropriate.

There's no denying that when they put their mind to it Curzon Ashton are a good footballing side. Unfortunately, and as we had the misfortune to witness far too many times in this game and other recent encounters, it comes wrapped in a style of play that shouldn't be seen at any level of football, let alone this one.

The latter stages of the Boxing Day game were full of challenges that bordered on the downright dangerous (a tackle on Chris Hirst late in the second half that somehow went unpunished springs horrifically to mind) and sadly so was this one.

Even as I write this, over twelve hours after the match had finished, I still can't understand how Chris Curley managed to stay on the pitch after three awful challenges in the opening twenty minutes of the match. It was only when he'd left Danny Dignan in a heap after a challenge that would have been a straight red under normal circumstances that referee finally produced a yellow card from his pocket. But when was the last time we had an official referee a match against Curzon normally.

I'm not saying we're angels – we're more than capable of putting a hard challenge in every now and again but when was the last time you saw someone in a Mossley shirt produce a tackle like the one I've previously mentioned on the Dignan? Hardly six of one, half a dozen of the other.

No doubt somebody somewhere will at this point start moaning that the referee had to allow for the conditions but a late challenge on a wet pitch would still be a late one on a dry pitch. But when you have weak officials it doesn't really matter what the weather has been like - decisions will always be more baffling than correct.

Perhaps the truly saddest sight to see was Curzon's players start screaming in faux agony every time they lost the ball, be it through a tackle, a simple brush of the shoulders or over hitting hit. They may act like hard men but they appear to be as soft as bowl of microwaved puppy diarrhoea.

Unsurprisingly the early stages of the game were punctuated frequently by the sound of the referee's whistle, but despite the countless number of free-kicks awarded around their opponents box though, Mossley failed to punish the Ashton side for their numerous indiscretions.

And it was the same story in open play too. A lengthy series of promising moves by the Lilywhites ultimately amounted to nothing more than the Curzon keeper, David Carnell, breathing a sigh of relief as inrushing white shirts failed to make contact with the assortment of inviting crosses being played in from the wings.

It took a 38th minute effort from Danny Dignan to break the sequence and finally call Carnell into action; the custodian meeting the Mossley forwards superbly executed twenty five yard shot with a save of similar stature.

That moment looked like it was going to be the last one of note in the opening half until Curzon hit Mossley with a sucker punch a minute before the break. A simple ball up the centre of the pitch caught the Mossley defence cold and Alex Elliott held his nerve to slip his shot under Robertson and give the visitors the lead.

Nick Boothby almost sent Mossley into the interval on level terms when he poked his leg out at a loose ball following a corner, only to see it bounce off the cross bar with Carnell beaten. We might have been one down but as the teams trudged off the spongy pitch there was no reason at all to think why we couldn't not only draw level but win the game.

Sadly we were given one after the orange slices.

The second period began with Mossley on the pitch in body, but seemingly not in mind or spirit. Straight from the restart it was virtually one way traffic as the visitors repeatedly cut through the Lilywhites midfield and defence with ridiculous ease. Robertson managed to deny Elliott & Michael O'Connor with two good saves but he was only delaying the inevitable which duly arrived in the 64th minute. Failure to deal with a corner led to a goalmouth scramble which ended with Chris Curley (yes, him) scrambling the ball across the line.

The only positive aspect about the second goal from a Mossley perspective was that it appeared to rouse the Lilywhites from their mysterious slumber and coupled with a change in on-field personnel, they once again began to ask questions of their opponents.

Danny Self went close on two occasions to giving his side a way back into the game, as did Michael Fish who drew yet another stunning save out of Carnell. Further unsuccessful efforts followed from Christian Hirst and Graham Kay to name but two of the host of players who had a pot shot in the closing stages.

But just as Mossley might have rescued the game in its final quarter if they'd been a touch more accurate in front of goal, Curzon's own profligacy at the opposite end of the pitch prevented them from succumbing to an even heavier defeat, and handing their opponents an even more flattering scoreline, as the game became stretched before the final whistle.

There was still time though for another display of forehead slapping officiating when Fish looked to have beaten Carnell in the chase for a through ball only for the keeper to grab the ball outside his box and pull it in. Not being an offside or a throw-in, the linesman must have thought that drawing the referee's attention to this was beyond his remit and again Curzon went unpunished. Oh for a set of officials with a bit of steel in their nether regions the next time we meet the 'Ashton Moss Manglers'.

I've always said that I have no problem with defeats if it looks like we've given it a go. It's a position I haven't had reason to fall back on many times in recent seasons but in this game that statement applies.

That's not to say that there weren't some faults to pick at. Curzon's first goal was just one of those things that happens regularly in football, I've no problem with that. What was worrying was Mossley's non-appearance at the start of the second half. There were some white shirts on the pitch but they weren't doing an awful lot to stop the people in blue ones running past them. It's not the first time this season we've come out after the interval looking unfocused either. Then again it's not exactly something that's new to this season. Maybe switching the half-time tea bags to a brand loaded with caffeine would help...

The other blot on otherwise solid performance was the persistence with the long ball from Robertson to the two forwards at every available opportunity. I can understand why the tactic was employed but it went on for far too long after it was obvious it was a pursuit that wouldn't bear fruit.

Our better and more productive passages of play were coming through keeping the ball on the ground and running at their defence. Chris Hirst in particular had a field day on the wings when he had the ball at his feet, and on the occasions he wasn't being booted into air - yes, I'm looking at you Mr Goodeve - but he wasn't utilised as often as he should have been.

There were a few other niggles as well but in the whole. Apart from the result, I don't think anyone was truly unhappy with the performance. We got a lot more creative in our approach in the final third of the match and with a tad more accuracy to our shooting it would have paid dividends but, alas, it wasn't to be.

It may be a losing start to 2009 for Mossley but if they continue it in the manner that was in evidence for much of this game, disappointing score lines such as this one will be the exception rather than the rule. I hope!

And win, lose or draw it was just nice to finally see a game that didn't involve Woodley Sports.

Woodley Sports 2 - 0 Rossendale United

Day ten of 2009 comes and goes and Mossley are still yet to play a game in the new year.

Well that's not strictly true. After overnight temperatures once again plunged into the negative on the Celcius scale and rendered the pitch at Skelmersdale, Mossley's scheduled destination, unplayable, the Lilywhites took part in a hastily arranged friendly against Flixton at a sports centre somewhere in west Manchester.

However, as the friendly was announced a mere 42 minutes before its midday kick-off, watching it was not an option given that at the best of times it's easier to reach the mythical land of Shangri-La than the other side of Manchester on public transport, let alone at less than three quarters of an hour notice. A football fix was needed though so out came plan B.

With practically all games both local and regional off it meant that for the second week running it was to Lambeth Grove we availed ourselves once more and to where we were treated to a brand new experience - queueing at the turnstiles to see a Woodley Sports game.

A few weeks without a match to watch had obviously taken its toll on a lot of local supporters and their desperation to see a game provided the home team with a bump of almost 200 on their average home attendance. Besides the Mossley supporters who'd made the short journey there were fans from Ashton United, Trafford, Hyde United, Rochdale, Buxton, Manchester City and probably many, many more. There were a few rumours doing the rounds that there were some supporters from Woodley and Rossendale too but that just seems fanciful.

Two players challenge for the ball. No idea who they are but it's one of the few photos that came out okay.

The game itself it was a good one, if a little one sided as Woodley picked up the three points on offer without working up too much of a sweat. A goal in each half, even if it should have been more, gave them a comfortable 2 - 0 win over a very poor looking Rossendale side.

That's not to take anything away from Woodley though who have undergone a significant improvement without a huge change in personnel (on the pitch at least ) since we stuck four goals past them in November - you know, back when Mossley used to play matches.

Gavin Salmon pretends to be an aeroplane in celebration of Woodley's second goal.

What lulls in play there were more than filled though by head scratching topics of conversation taking place off the pitch which somehow over the course of the ninety minutes went from blue ice to Scottish beavers via what trains leave in stations, ninjas, Lee Van Cleef, Shooting Stars, weather girls, suffragettes, the exact words of Gilly, Gilly, Ossenfeffer Katsenellenbogen-by-the-sea (e-e-e-eeee) and elk cloning. Plus a few other things I couldn't possible repeat on a blog that doesn't require it readers to be 18 years or older to read. A typical Saturday afternoon then.

To Tuesday then when it look almost certain that Mossley will play their first match at Seel Park in nine weeks. That is unless Mother Nature sticks her enormous oar in again.

Oh, and if you're interested, Mossley apparently won their friendly 5 - 1.

Thumbs A-Twiddling

Once again there's no midweek football to report on as the Siberian weather system that's positioned itself over the British Isles for the better part of two weeks retains its icy grip. No Mossley vesus Maine Road, no anything at anywhere that didn't have under soil heating.

I've no idea what you've done without any football but I've passed the time by joining things on the internet that have just passed their peak moments of popularity. I don't jump on bandwagons, I chase them up the street after they've driven past.

I also came across this may fill a few brief empty seconds - The World's Funniest Street Signs which contains one entry that a good proportion of you will have been to.

Fingers and toes crossed for some football at the weekend so that we can avoid more pointless postings such as this one.

Woodley Sports 2 - 3 Kendal Town

One game.

Out of a normally hectic period of football over the New Year, that's all that remained locally after the continuing low temperatures decimated the fixture lists. And at half-time I was really regretting that this one, a Unibond League Cup tie, had survived.

Even though I'd witnessed a stunning second minute strike that gave Kendal a one goal lead at the interval (which to be truthful had more than an element of hit and hope about it than intention) and watched Woodley waste three gilt edged chances to pull level, there was little else to suggest that making the effort to attend was worth it, such was the paucity of fare on offer.

Thankfully what transpired in the second half quickly put an end to the daydreams I was having of what I could have been doing had I stopped at home in the warmth.

Woodley, manager less and a league below their opponents, proceeded to give Kendal the proverbial runaround. Their efforts looked to have been in vain though as chances flew wide of the goal and what time was left (as well as the temperature) rapidly dwindled.

With four minutes of the match remaining there was a bitter-sweet moment when Woodley got the equaliser they richly deserved via a thirty yard daisy cutter from Gavin Salmon, who had up to that point been Sports' sitter-misser-in-chief. It was a richly deserved reward for their efforts but it also meant that extra-time now loomed large on the horizon; never a welcome thing on the warmest of days, let alone when it's on one that would see pengiuns shivering. And getting colder.

The prospect of thirty more minutes at Ice Station Lambeth Grove looked to have been avoided when the Cumbrians responded to Woodley's equaliser with a goal of their own in the nintieth minute. To say it was something of a shock would be an understatement as up till that point there attack had been declared M.I.A.

So with a "hard luck" thought transmitted to the Woodley players we started to make our way home, only to find ourselves trudging wearily back to the spot we'd just vacated on the touchlines when Woodley produced another equaliser in the third minute of time added on. In fact on Channel M's footage of the game you should be able to see us turn on our heels as the overhead kick from Cotton flies into the net we're walking behind.

Kendal players take time out to contemplate the prospect of spending thirty minutes more than they'd planned to in the Stockport suburbs.

As seems more often than not to be the case when it comes to extra-time, the goal that ultimately wins the game arrives not long after it starts, and this match was no exception. Just four minutes had elapsed when Melling headed in from a corner and unlike 'normal time' Woodley couldn't muster a response; due in no small part to Kendal manager Lee Ashcroft's introducing himself into the game and adding a work ethic to his side that had been visibly lacking and some weight to his sides otherwise hapless attack.

No more goals were forthcoming which while unfair on Woodley, was welcome news for my extremities which were about to wave the white flag - the temperature having dropped so much that I don't think I could have made it through a penalty shootout without something dropping off.

The final whistle not only signalled Kendal's passage into the next round but brought to an end the festive campaign for another year too. It's one which hasn't seen much in the way of football this time round but the other sad aspect of its passing is that, for many of us, it also signifies that the return to work is just around the corner.

Although for how long you'll actually be attending work over the coming year in these financial 'End Days' is another matter entirely. Personally speaking, while the end is not nigh, I get the feeling there's a priest who has been put on standby to administer the Last Rites before I depart into downsizing limbo. Still, no use worrying about the future. Well not yet anyway.

If only all places of work were like this:


The weather forecast for the coming week doesn't look good but, fingers crossed, the next update to this blog should be a report on Mossley's first game at Maine Road for quite some time as we re-embark on the 'road to wherever the County FA can hire out the cheapest' in the Manchester Premier Cup.

MMVIII - MMIX

After wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas last week it's only fair that I wish you all a Happy New Year this week. So...

Happy New Year!

I'd add more but writing something poignant and meaningful for this particular occasion is beyond me at the moment, and I seriously doubt you'd be bothered to read it either given the time of year.

I did have a look around YouTube for something appropriate for celebrating the last day of this calendar year and the first of the next one but it's decidedly slim pickings to choose from. There were the following though.

The first is something you'd kind of expect:


While the second is less so. And despite it being hardly celebratory or fun, it may provoke a second or two of thought as we enter 2009:

Curzon Ashton 0 - 1 Mossley

Much as it was for George Michael, 'Last Christmas' wasn't a particularly good one for Mossley.

The only bright spot in their Boxing Day game at home Lancaster City was that the visitors failed to add to their four unanswered first half goals after the interval.

366 days on though the Lilywhites faithful were saved from tears on St Stephen's Day by a solitary goal which was enough for Mossley to edge out Curzon Ashton in a closely fought (albeit a bit too literally at times) encounter.

It came just after the hour mark when a through ball from Danny Self split the Ashton defence open and played Chris Hirst into a one-on-one with Blues keeper David Carnell. The chance looked to have gone when his heavy first touch took the ball away from the goal and narrowed the angle available to him but his second was sublime, deftly lifting the ball over the onrushing Carnell with the outside of his right boot to send the ball bouncing into the back of the net.

The goal was the culmination of a lengthy spell of Mossley pressure that had begun the moment the second period had started. Graham Kay hit the crossbar with a header from the edge of the box and a good few other efforts flew over it as some wayward finishing stopped them from not only opening the scoring earlier than they did, but widening the gap between themselves and Curzon before the lead they held came under any kind of threat.

Graham Kay pays close attention to Glynn Barker.

On the few occasions the visitors back line was breached and that danger did arrive, they had the goalkeeper Andy Robertson to thank for ensuring the slender lead remained intact. Ten minutes after Hirst's strike Robertson produced an outstanding reaction save to palm away a Michael Norton shot when a goal looked inevitable. This was followed moments later by the Mossley keeper winning his final confrontation of the afternoon with the Blue's leading scorer by diverting a shot onto the roof of the net when a goal once again looked like being the only outcome.

Good fortune isn't something Mossley have had a great deal of this season but they got a rare slice of luck with five minutes of the game left. Losing his marker as a free-kick from the right was looped into the Lilywhites penalty area, Adam Jones looked certain to level the scores as he met the ball on the edge of the six yard box. Inexplicably however he headed high over the crossbar with the goal at his mercy and with it went his sides chances of rescuing the game.

That the second half was as interesting as it was came as something of a surprise after a leaden opening to the match which suggested that the excesses of previous day were still weighing heavily on the stomachs of all involved. Only on four occasions did the first half spring into life - twice for the home side, twice for the visitors and all brought about by mistakes from the defending team.

The first fell Curzon's way in the 23rd minute when a misjudged call from Robertson allowed Norton to nip between him and the defence and steal the ball. The Lilywhites custodian reacted quickly though to rectify his error and dropped on Norton's shot as he attempted to roll it into the empty net. An overhit back pass from Nick Boothby was the genesis of Mossley's next brush with danger and it was only some excellent covering defending that prevented Glynn Barker from tapping the ball in from close range.

At the opposite end of the pitch Mossley, and Danny Dignan in particular, were benefiting from some equally generous gifts from their hosts. A sloppy pass from Chris Worsley presented Dignan with the ball and from fully thirty yards he unleashed a ferocious shot that scraped the outside of the post and had Carnell flying across the face of his goal in a forlorn attempt to reach it. Carnell did get to Dignan's second effort though just before break, diverting it wide after an elementary error from David Birch had let in the Mossley forward.


In the end though it was to be just the one goal that separated the two sides and the noise and applause that greeted the final whistle from the visiting supporters was the least the Mossley players deserved for their efforts over the course of the preceding hour and a half. Efforts which ensured they ended 2008 on a high with their fourth successive victory, their first Boxing Day win for five years and their first in four attempts at Curzon's new ground.

I'd love to write more about this match, and I may do so at a later date, but it's Christmas and I'd much rather be doing something else so if you don't mind I'll leave it here.

What I will say though, besides well done Mossley, really well done, is that I hope the return fixture on New Years Day is officiated by people who don't appear to be voice operated by the Curzon bench and/or aren't unafraid of having to fill out paperwork for red cards off on a public holiday.

Red sky at night - Mossley's delight. Sorry! That caption was appalling...

There's no question that the home side should have finished the match with less than the full compliment of eleven players out on the pitch as, not for the first time, the Blues reaction to having things not go their own seemed to be if you can't beat them – kick them.

Some of the challenges that took place, especially after they'd gone behind, were utterly appalling . Yet they all somehow went unpunished, even one on Hirst that almost took the assistant referee out of the game such was the way the home player threw himself into the challenge on the touchline. You'd have hoped that after he'd almost ended up in a heap on the side of the pitch that he'd draw the referee's attention to what happened but no – it was just another in a long line of matches where it appeared the linesmen were only allowed to signal for throw-ins and nothing else.

To finish with, even though I can't bring you footage of the goal through the Unibond's 'no publicity is better than any' policy, I can show you what happened after the match finished which is the victorious Lilywhites receiving the applause of the crowd and reciprocating with their appreciation of the support they received.

I know they've done it quite a lot this season but with such things being a rarity over past seasons it still fills you with an inner glow when you see it:

Yo, Ho And Ho

As always at this time of year it’s customary to place a seasonal greeting on a website or a blog, and not being one to fly in the face of tradition, here’s mine.

In the words of Slade:

This is rockin’ radio the wall of sound

Oops! Sorry, wrong song.

As I was meaning to say...

A Happy Christmas to all at Seel Park – be it those on the pitch or slightly off it, those behind the scenes or fellow terrace dwellers.

And to you, the few who are still reading this tiny spot on the world wide web as it gamely limps along in the face growing indifference - Merry Christmas!

I had intended to do something slightly more special for my last post before Christmas but a horrendous two days at work (the culmination of months of being metaphorically dumped on from a great height) has wiped away a sizeable proportion of my festive spirit, even though the trials and tribulations suffered this week ended in a small moral victory.

Instead of what I had planned though I’ll leave you with a few things that may help you to pass the time until it’s the moment you have to unwrap a pair of socks and feign being thrilled...

---

Cliff Richard sang that Christmas is a time for living, believing, trusting, joy and laughter. It's also the small part of the year that keeps the toy industry afloat but how many of the following will Father Christmas deliver tonight? The 25 Most Baffling Toys From Around The World

Speaking of the man in the red suit, he's fallen on hard times lately and isn't quite the jolly old soul the songs make him out to be: Extreme Biography - Santa Claus and Scary Santas.

On the subject of Christmas songs (making it two hospital radio style segue ways on the trot) GoHome Productions has some 'mash-ups' free to download. If you've always wanted to hear Blondie and Jennifer Lopez on Paul McCartney's Pipes of Peace or wondered what a super group made up of Elvis Presley, C3PO and R2D2 would sound like, get clicking now! Really, they are good.

If Christmas songs aren't your thing though, why not try some 'alternative' ones? A word of warning though, they're not for the ears of children or those at the other end of the scale as they contain the odd rude word or fifty.

If you want to escape Christmas for a short while though:

The Quietus - Guess the album covers being mimed and try and beat my pitiful score of four. Yes, four.

The 20 Most Ridiculous Batman Comics Ever Released - The title says it all really.

The Greatest Roller Coaster Souvenir Photos Ever - As does this one.

---

Well that’s it from me on this blog until it’s time to put tales of the St Stephen’s day game online. I’m of now to watch Have I Got News For You before settling down for my annual viewing National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

It's an exciting life I lead isn't it?

All the best.

Rochdale Town 2 - 3 Mossley

It might only have been a friendly but Mossley managed to get one final Saturday game in before the end of 2008 - their first since the Woodley away game on the 22nd of November.

The hastily arranged nature of the game meant that it was to late for some people to extricate themselves from Christmas shopping duties so it was a small crowd (one count put it at 33) and two small squads that lined up to watch and participate in what turned out to be an entertaining game.

Michael Fish wins the players sweep of who could spot the most away supporters acting casually at the side of the pitch.

I'm not going to go into great detail about what happened because you can see the important bits below but in summary:

Mossley, lining up with new signing Chris Middleton at right back, took a very early lead through Michael Fish and missed a whole host good chances before Danny Self made it two with a diving header. More fluffed opportunities followed before Dave Brookes added a third not long into the second period.


As the game wore on and Mossley continued to narrowly avoid running up a cricket score, Rochdale pulled two goals back and should have had a penalty moments before the final whistle. In the end though the result, not that it really matters being a friendly, was a deserved win for Mossley.

Don't take my word for it though, you can form that opinion for yourself by watching this...


Or if you want to watch a better quality version, click here and then on the higher quality option below the viewing window.

And finally, thank goodness there's nothing like the following sign at Mossley or else matches would resemble those 'behind closed doors' games.

Chorley 1 - 2 Mossley

No, your eyes do not deceive you. Mossley have actually managed to complete ninety minutes of football without the weather intervening in some way.

That said it was a close run thing as the torrential rain prior to kick-off and throughout a large part of the first half had more than a few people worried that the evenings scoreline wouldn't have two numbers in it but two A's instead.

Attempts to watch the game at certain points in the ground were akin to trying to view the boats that criss-cross the Niagara River while stood directly behind the Horseshoe Falls, such were the torrents of water pouring off and through the roofs of the stands.


Following the near month long lay-off caused by three postponements and one highly contentious match abandonment, you wouldn't have been surprised if Mossley had exhibited some rustiness on their return to action.

There was little of it, if any, in evidence though as the Lilywhites continued from where they'd left off at Woodley a mere three and a half weeks earlier with a measured performance that extended their winning streak and eased them comfortably into the next round of the President's Cup.

That said the match did get off to the worst possible start for the visitors. It was barely two minutes old when Roger Sharrock fired a hopeful looking cross into the box from the left wing, and whether its trajectory was altered by the swirling wind or Andy Robertson simply misjudged its flight, there was a moment of stunned silence as the ball unexpectedly dropped under the bar to give the Magpies the lead.

Mossley responded to the early set back with the type of attacking football that has been the cornerstone of their better results this season. However it wasn't until the 37th minute that they finally found an end product to compliment the build-up play. It came through the boot of Danny Self who punished keeper Peter Collinge's fumbled attempts at dealing with Danny Egan's close range header by blasting the loose ball into the net for the equaliser.

Collinge's goal then began to lead a charmed life as further fumbles landed at the feet of his own team mates rather than at those belonging to the orange shirts piling in to the box.

The greatest stroke of fortune they enjoyed though came when Ryan Cook looked to have volleyed Mossley into a first half lead with a thundering shot from the edge of the box that had Collinge wrong footed. Unfortunately for Cook a Chorley defender strolled obliviously into the path the ball was taking and was almost knocked spark out as he unawaringly deflected it wide of the post.

The break for half-time failed to disrupt the momentum the Lilywhites had built up prior to its arrival. Ten minutes into the second period and following a concerted spell of pressure in which Danny's Egan and Dignan had gone close to edging their side in front, Mossley registered the goal that would win them the game. Once again it was a close range effort but this time it was Dignan who applied the finishing touch, stabbing the ball home after Graham Kay's header from a left wing corner had crashed back off the crossbar.

Danny Dignan (hidden) puts the ball (hidden) into the net (the stringy thing with holes in) for Mossley's second, and winning goal.

Substitute Ashley Parillon wasted a golden opportunity to pull the hosts level when he scuffed a shot wide of the upright after being put clean through on goal, but this solitary chance for the home side was dwarfed by the number of openings Mossley were carving out at the opposite end of the pitch. And sadly fluffing.

On another day I might have had a grumble about how the victory should have been wrapped up long before the full-time whistle but to do so after this game however, their first for a while, would be churlish.

The Magpies should have had their on field numbers reduced by one five minutes from time when James Mullineux hacked David Brooke down from behind as the Mossley substitute broke into the box.

The foul in itself was cynical enough to warrant a red card and the fact that a goal scoring opportunity had clearly been denied should have made the flash of crimson even more of a certainty.

A card was produced but it turned out to be just a yellow; an outcome which astonished the fans and a good proportion of the players, particularly when the reasoning he gave was that there had been a covering player, despite the fact that no one else apart from the goalkeeper had been remotely close to the incident. So unless the referee has an imaginary friend who plays at the back for Chorley it safe to say he got this decision very, very wrong.

Finishing the game against eleven men rather than ten made not one jot of difference though as Mossley were happy to spend the ever expanding length of injury time (four scheduled minutes eventually grew to nearly seven) in the left hand corner of Chorley's pitch.

What all fashionable assistant referees are wearing this season: a short sleeved shirt over the top of a coat.

It wasn't the greatest game in the world but neither was it the worst (that honour going to the previous meeting between the two sides this season).

What it was, after their prolonged, weather enforced absence from various pitches scattered across the north of England over the last few weeks, was exactly the result and performance Mossley needed to blow off the cobwebs before they head into the tough Christmas schedule.

Curzon Ashton 4 - 1 Chorley

If you're wondering where the report on the Mossley - Wakefield game is, there isn't one!

For the fourth time in a little over two weeks a match involving Lilywhites has fallen foul of the weather. And such is Mossley's desire to be contrary and stand out from the crowd that while games up and down the country were being called off due to waterlogged surfaces, no game took place at Seel Park because it was frozen solid.

It was a situation that meant another Saturday morning was spent looking around the internet for other local games that were on and armed with the information that there was no danger of the match at the Tameside Stadium being called off, the desperate need for a fix of football meant that for the second successive week it would be Curzon Ashton that filled the void. Proving once and for all that addiction has its down side.


Initially it did look like we might about to witness a shock result as Chorley ran the home near ragged over the course of the opening half hour; a fact studiously ignored in the report in the Non-League Paper. Unfortunately the chances that presented themselves were wasted and former Lilywhite Jordan Goodeve was probably the biggest culprit. Twice he chose the wrong option in who to play the ball to when yellow shirts outnumbered the blue ones in attack before spurning a golden opportunity to edge the Magpies ahead by side footing the ball over the bar from ten yards.

The seeds for their downfall were sown though when more and more of their players began to venture forward in search of the goal they deserved. The ambition is one that in some way should be applauded but the consequence was that they were now short on numbers at the back and it was through exploiting this flaw in Chorley’s game plan that Curzon opened the scoring.

That's not to say it wasn't unavoidable. The low cross from the right wing that set up the goal should have been cleared on at least two occasions as it rolled across the penalty area but the defence’s Can-Can like attempts at doing so allowed the ball to trickle through to an unmarked Barker who promptly stuck it in the net.

It may only have been one goal but with it Chorley simply fell apart. Curzon’s, and Barker’s, second was not long in coming and once again was the result of some really awful defending. Like the first goal it was another low cross from the right that did the damage but on this occasion nearly every single one of the ten visiting players packed into their own box made a hash of clearing their lines before it reached Barker’s feet.

Within minutes of the start of the second half Curzon had doubled the lead. And whereas their opening two goals were the result of a catalogue of errors from the Magpies, the third and fourth were something else altogether - a fantastic strike apiece from Ogoo and Whelan following some quick and incisive build-up play. If you can, try and see them on Channel M's football show next Friday because they are worth watching.

The home side had another goal ruled out for offside but other than that not much else happened until the closing minutes when, with Curzon metaphorically in their slippers and sipping brandy in front of an open fire, Chorley grabbed a consolation goal. It was a very good goal too but way too little, far too late.


You may have noticed that Michael Norton's name hasn't cropped up at all in the report until ten words ago and there's a good reason for that - he was virtually anonymous. Much as he was against Woodley seven days earlier other than for his two goals from the penalty spot.

Now I'm in no doubt that when Mossley turn up on Boxing Day he'll be back to performing his usual shenanigans against us but having seen Curzon's last two games his mind looks elsewhere at the moment. There has been a rumour doing the rounds that he's on his way to Tranmere Rovers in January and quite a few Curzon fans we spoke to certainly seem to be under the impression that it isn't a rumour but something that's done and dusted) so there’s a chance he's a touch pre-occupied with that.

From a purely Mossley perspective, while both sides offer a considerable threat there was enough evidence of weaknesses in the two of them to instil a bit of confidence that we can get something out of the games against them in the upcoming weeks. It’s a confidence that will undoubtedly evaporate in me as the matches draw nearer but for the first time in a while it is actually there.

From a neutral perspective however, I wish I‘d stopped at home and saved my money.

Breaking News: 14/12/2008

Mossley

The Napoleon Complex

After watching ITV's highlights of the Chesterfield - Droylsden FA Cup tie on Wednesday night, or to be more exact Dave Pace's mad eyed circling of the edges of sanity in his reaction to home sides second goal, I was reminded of something I did a while back.

So as the men in white coats prepare their butterfly nets for the replay in case non-league's very own Begbie finds something else to irk him, what better time to revisit Mossley80's golden age? That halcyon period when it was a bit funny and the number of daily visitors was more than it what it now gets in the space of two weeks:

Non-League Warehouse - Dave Pace Doll

Postings From The Onion Bag

A change of pace for the blog with this posting as it actually contains something funny.

If you cast your mind back to earlier in the week, Sunday to be precise, you may remember that after a small moan about ground hoppers I promised to bring you an extract from a defunct football magazine about them.

And being true to my word (yes, there is a first time for everything)– here they are!Just click on the images to be taken to a bigger, more easily readable version:



The pieces come from a long gone and much lamented football monthly called 'The Onion Bag' (not to be confused with the fanzine of the same name) which while having its fair share of corny jokes, contained some brilliantly funny stuff.

And now that I’ve got a working scanner I’ll be doing my best to bring you some other highlights from the magazine's eighteen issue run over the coming months. Possibly years if I really eke it out.

These include an ingenious and sometimes mad reworking of old You Are The Ref strips and ‘Say Cheesey’, their tribute to old football cards and stickers which contain the kind of photos you would never see in today’s image conscious game.

If the magazine was as good as you say why is it no longer around? Well no one knows for definite but a rumour I read on the internet (therefore it must be true) suggests it fell foul of the sports authorities when they started publishing copies of the reports sent to local FA’s by Sunday league referees.

It's sadly missed, if possibly only by me, but it's better to have had eighteen issues of chortlery than none at all. Something I hope you'll come to agree with me on in the coming months.

In regards to 'Say Cheesy', and as indicator as to what to expect, Broken TV - a blog that deserves to take up a significant chunk of your online reading time - did something similar recently with stickers from the 1980 Panini album and very funny it is too:

The Top 10 Footballers From 1980 Who Are Surely A Lot Older Than They're Claiming To Be

There was a follow-up as well which has a Mossley connection:

The Inevitably Disappointing Sequel To Really Popular Update Awards 1980

Be warned though! He may bring back some unwelcome memories of a really crap time in the Lilywhites not so recent history.

Why We Watch Non-League Football - Part Two

Because the possibility of boarding the football money train means that idiots like the one in the following link from the Chester Chronicle aren't interested in the likes of us any more:

John Batchelor - The man who sadly won't go away

For further evidence as to why this gentleman should never be allowed back into football, here are a few links from his aborted attempt to do the same at Mansfield which includes a Q&A session with supporters and a Guardian investigation into the man from cloud cuckoo land.

And if you've forgotten about part one it's here

"Jack Frost Nipping At Your Toes"

At least he would have been had we been stood watching a game tonight. Instead those ten tiny extremities are nice and warm at home in a thick pair of socks as the plummeting temperature once again thwarts our hopes of seeing a Tuesday night game.

As depressing as the thought of now being in a position to accidentally catch sight of Holby City is, there's some comfort in that at least Chorley had the decency to call the match off six hours before it was due to start and not forty three minutes after it actually had like the referee in last weekends game at Durham. Thereby saving us the time and trouble of travelling in deteriorating conditions to watch a farce.

And speaking of the team from the north east with the all weather pitch, their game at home to Newcastle tonight has also been postponed due to a frozen pitch. The hundreds of thousands of pounds spent on installing their Field Turf playing surface is obviously looking to be money well spent.

I alluded to this in my last but one posting but if teams in Russia can play on a similar surface in temperatures approaching double figures on the minus side of the scale, how cold must it be on the banks of the Wear? Unless they've bought the pitch off the footballing equivalent of Lyle Lanley they really should be looking to get a refund. (I fully understand that next to no-one is going to get the Lyle Lanley reference but as no-one is going to have read this far down - what the hell!)

According to tonight's Oldham Chronicle Mossley are lodging a complaint to the FA about the handling of the situation that evolved in Durham on Saturday. Or to be more precise the lack of it). It's a noble venture and as a supporter I wish them all the luck with their case but the chances of the FA doing anything other than ignoring it are smaller than winning the lottery and being hit by lightning on the same day. While dressed as an otter.

Back to tonight though and no game means a search through the TV listings for something to watch and frankly it's as barren as this evenings non-league fixture schedule.

There is a match on ITV but I'll give it a miss. Not only does Champions League football leave me bored senseless, it will also contain the twelve most feared words in the sport: "And to take you through the game, Clive Tyldsley and David Pleat."

Outside of the Daily Show on More4 though there's nothing that piques my interest so, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to watch that and then carry on working my way through my West Wing DVD's for the umpteenth time.

Woodley Sports 0 - 3 Curzon Ashton

Even before this seasons fixtures were announced way back in the summer, the trip up to Durham (along with the similar one to Newcastle) to see Mossley play was one I was never going to make.

And as much as I hate missing matches in which the Lilywhites are playing, I hate the effects a six hour round trip in a car has on my back more, especially at this time of the year.

It was a situation which meant scouring the fixture lists for another game to fill a blank Saturday with and thanks to the frosty weather, the options were a touch limited.

When in doubt though Woodley's always the best place to head as any game scheduled to take place there is likely to be on; Lambeth Grove's artificial grass pitch continuing to live up to the 'all weather' claim on the packaging it came in. Unlike Durham's supposedly similar surface which appears to have all the properties of the plastic grass you find on greengrocers shelves.

And for more on the ridiculous state of affairs that transpired on Mossley's trip to the north-east, read my previous post or, even better still, Smiffy's

Woodley's opponents were Curzon Ashton and their opponents won 3 – 0. A score line which if truth be told flattered the men from the Tameside Stadium slightly.

Curzon went into an an early two goal lead through two penalties - one for a foul in the box and the other for a tackle that, according to the Mossley fans in line with it at that end of the ground, took place well outside the area. The referee being one of those official who, like the man in the middle we had at Halifax, believes a foul should be given from where the player lands and not where the offence took place - even if it did involve a three to four yard leap.

Both penalties were won by Curzon's left back Whelan and to be honest, if it wasn't for him and his team mate Russell at right back, it's doubtful Curzon would have mustered anything approaching an attack in this match. Maybe they've still got a hangover from their recent FA Cup exploits but apart from the aforementioned players they looked devoid of ideas and urgency. Sadly it's a state of affairs I expect they'll have recovered from come Christmas when they face us twice.

The third goal came in open play and, unsurprisingly, was set up through another long run by Whelan and finished superbly at the back post by Russell.

The second half was, for want of a better word, moribund (and as far from the 'end-to-end' description it mysteriously got in the Non-League Paper report as you're ever likely to get) and made exponentially more miserable by the news filtering in from Durham. The joy and shock that had greeted Mossley's four goal lead giving way to bitter disappointment and fledgling conspiracy theories as word of the abandonment came.

Back in the outer reaches of Stockport, neither side showed much in the way of fight in the second period until late on when Woodley found a higher gear. And if I tell you that the gear they found was first, it may give you some idea to how bad the half was.

If Woodley had a half decent strike force they may have actually gone close to getting something from the game in those final stages. They didn't though and in the end had to settle for a late penalty award of their own which Adam Morning made a right pigs ear of taking. Hence the the 0 next to Woodley's name in the heading to this post.

I had a 'stills' day with my camera for this game and the few that turned out 3.76% decent can be viewed by clicking the following link: Woodley vs Curzon

Other points of interest. Woodley's ex-Mossley contingent continues to keep on growing. Along with Gavin Salmon, Adam Morning and Russell Headley there's now...


Yes, Mark Phillips. Making his return to non-league football after a two year absence.

Perhaps the most surprising thing on the day, besides the news that filtered through from the north-east, was that the crowd for this game was 16 more than the one for the fixture against us a fortnight ago despite there looking to be half as many people in the ground.

Obviously there's no telling how many people had taken up shelter in the bar from the weather and the poor fare on offer on the pitch, but it must have been packed to the rafters in order for 140 people to have been counted in for this game.

What few people there were on the terraces were like us: supporters desperate for a game of football to watch. There were also a good number of 'ground hoppers' too, that strange and small group of people who go to grounds to say they've been rather than watch the football. As one much missed football publication put it in the past, "(they're) train-spotters who've run out of trains."

You get the impression they'd be far happier if the players never came out as not only does it spoil the view of the dugouts, it makes it more difficult to take pictures of the pitch perimeter fixings.

How do I know they were ground hoppers? Well the satchel bag slung across one shoulder, a notebook constantly being scribbled in and two match programmes (one to write in and the other, like Laura Palmer, wrapped in plastic) were a give away. As was there need to fill us in on the minutiae of their recent expeditions across the north west.

If I get chance before Christmas I'll endeavour to put on the blog a couple of things from the publication I mentioned earlier because a) it deserves a new and wider audience and b) it's far funnier than something an infinite number of me's with the same amount of typewriters could come up with.

Hopefully a better match and a full ninety minutes will be adequate compensation for this weekend on Tuesday when Mossley journey to Chorley for the President's cup.

Plastic Pitches - They're The Future! Or Not,

You're winning 4-0 away to the team many people expect to win the league and the game gets abandoned at half-time due to the freezing conditions. Galling, yet somehow typical isn't it?

To make matters worse for the Mossley players, management and supporters making their way back down from the north-east, the match was being played on Field Turf which, according to its manufacturers:

So either Durham got a bad batch of the stuff or, with my tin foil hat on, there's a conspiracy theory in this somewhere...

Das (Fußball) Boot

For those of you who moan about the standard of refereeing in the Unibond League (and there are plenty who do), be thankful we're not in the Colombian semi-pro divisions if this is what happens in their top tier*:


Hard to believe there's rumours of corruption in football over there isn't it?

Then again, if one of the 'Big Four' were to benefit from something similar in the Premier League, Andy Gray would undoubtedly argue that there was some form of contact (even it was only eye) and that the player was well within his rights to go down.

*I've no idea what they're saying or why there's chicken noises so don't ask!

"Oh The Weather Outside Is Frightful"

For the second time this week best laid plans have fallen foul of the weather. The intention to take in a game of football once again thwarted by Mother Nature.

Even if expectations had been confounded and the match we'd scheduled to take in had gone ahead, it would still be Mossley80-less as running the risk of the rapidly deteriorating conditions on the road wasn't particularly appealing. And to be honest, I'd had enough of journeying through the current this weather this morning without repeating it 12 hours later.

A phone call as I was leaving home from someone sat on the last chopper out of Saigon (or the 6:30am bus to Ashton as it was previously known) told me that word had come over the driver's radio that it was to be the only bus in and out of Mossley for the foreseeable future. So off to the railway station it was to take my chances with Northern Rail.

Making my rather slow way to the station I was caught in two minds. One half was muttering grimly about the condition and trying to keep me upright as I slid about the footpaths. The other half though was full of the childish glee of walking through the snow and sliding about.

After tackling Mill Street like it was the north face of K2 (the lack of crampons negated by rubbing my feet in a grit pile at the bottom of the hill) I made it to Manchester Road and boy, was it eerie.

Normally at that time of 6:45-ish the road is quite busy but there wasn't a single piece of traffic on it. Not that it was unsurprising as cars couldn't make it up the roads onto it, and judging by the ashen faced expression on the driver of the one car who came down Stamford Road, it was treacherous coming down onto it as well.

The only good thing about the morning, apart from my momentary regression back to a single digit age group, was that the train was only four minutes late and I got a seat. It's little comfort though when you've got a thirty minute walk through black slush to get to work once you disembark.

Why am I telling you all this? Frankly I've no idea but it's a good way of getting a bad day off my chest, especially as some of my fellow employees who live in the area wangled the day off claiming they were snowed in.

Before I finish though I'd like to applaud the consideration shown to pedestrians by the drivers trying to make their way up Wagon Road this morning. Unable to get any grip on the snow they continually slid backwards and to avoid hitting the car behind, they graciously swerved onto the footpaths where people were having enough standing upright as it was without having to take evasive manoeuvres to avoid a couple of tons of metal hurtling towards them.

Fair play to them. I mean, what's a couple of years in prison for vehicular manslaughter and ruining the lives of countless families when the alternative is losing your no claims bonus.

Oops! I got mixed up there. I didn't mean to praise you, I meant to call you the self-centred tossers you undoubtedly are. Glad I got that straight.

So onto tomorrow then and the joys black ice will bring in the land of hills.

Glossop North End 2 - 2 Maine Road

I suggested it may happen in my previous posting and happen it did: Mossley's match with Woodley Sports fell foul of the weather.

And while the official reason for the postponement was frost, the very thick layer of fog that enveloped the ground (and most of northern England for the day) would have undoubtedly had an effect on the decision. Therefore I can’t say I was too upset at the postponement of a potentially farcical match in which a significant portion of the action would have been invisible to the naked eye.

The late call-off though (fifty minutes before kick-off) meant that there was a sudden rush to find another local game to watch. At least there was from those of us who'll watch anything at any level to keep us out of the house on a Saturday afternoon. Of the two fixtures within reach before 3:00pm, only Glossop's game with Maine Road hadn't fallen foul of the weather and so it was to the Peak District that a small band of Mossley supporters headed, along with fans from other clubs with postponed games including two women who’d travelled from Bristol to watch Stalybridge against Farsley.

The journey to the Surrey Street ground saw plenty of wondering as to how on earth Glossop's match could still be on as visibility due to the fog was near treacherous. The musing stopped however when we got to the edge of Glossop and were met by bright sunshine and blue skies. It wasn’t to last though and six minutes after arriving the fog started to roll in. By the time kick-off arrived the opposite touchline was barely visible through the gloom and for the most part vision wise, things went steadily downhill from there.

”On a hill in Glossop, mist rolling in from the west...”

Occasionally the drift of the fog would clear things a little, but it was only ever a momentary respite and what was happening on the far side of the pitch would quickly be swallowed by the mist again; leaving you guessing as to what was going on through the shouts emanating from the opposite touchline.

All in all a bit of a shame really as it was a good game. The bits we saw of it.

Maine Road in a sickly yellow and pale blue kit ran the first half and deservedly took a two goal lead into the interval with them. Their first goal was pretty straight forward but the second was either a classic piece of opportunism and skill or solely attributable to the absurd conditions – Rothel launching the ball high into the gloom and dropping it over the back pedalling North End keeper.

Which of the two options you plump for probably depends on which team you support. My own opinion, not that it’s worth a jot, is that it was a goal that wouldn’t have been scored had the weather been better and the ball not blended into the background during its long flight.

Mossley80 goes moody.

Bizzarely Maine Road decided to try and sit on their advantage in the second period and it was a tactical decision that failed spectacularly. Glossop tore them to shreds and not only did they level the game, they should have won it. In fact it’s possible they could have done and we just didn’t see the winner.

But why talk about it when you can see (a word I use in its least possible sense) what happened for yourself. Who needs spot the ball when you can have spot the player on the ball and spot the match too!


The search for a game to fill the upcoming blank midweek could see Mossley80 make a departure from the world of non-league football for the first time. The intended destination will remain veiled for the time being (not that it’s anything remotely special) as it’s all dependent on the frost not taking a hold.

If it does, and with the only alternative being the Woodley – FC U of NM League Cup game, I wouldn’t expect a match report on anything on Wednesday.

Ein Miserablen Woche

Finally! Another week comes that did my blood pressure no good at comes to a welcome end.

It got off to a fantastic start at Lambeth Grove last week with Mossley's ruthlessly efficient dismantling of Woodley Sports but then along came Monday and... ... no. On the off chance that somebody at work actually knows I do this blog, I'm not going to finish that sentence as I like having money before Christmas.

Apropos of nothing though I will say that over the past number of days I've had an inkling into how the citizens of Rome must have felt when the rumours of Nero sound tracking the fires on his lyre started.

It's at times like this I wish I worked for the Maplewood Police Department in Minnesota because it looks like it's a barrel of laughs there. I mean, how long do you think they waited for the reporter in the following clip to go live before they started removing certain pieces of evidence from the house they'd just raided?


I wonder if that was the battering ram the reporter mentioned in the piece?

Any hopes of the new week getting off to just as good a start as the last one don't appear to be too promising at the moment, with the weather threatening the prospects of Mossley putting in a repeat performance against Woodley in the rematch at Seel Park.

The word at last night's quiz was that the pitch was still suffering the effects of the weather experienced earlier in the week and I doubt the temperature plunging into minus figures overnight helped any. Especially with similar frosty forecast for tonight.

There's plenty of time for things to warm up though and I for one hope it's on, not just for the football, but to see Channel M film the match.

As you'll know from their recent visits, the camera has either taken up a spot in front of the main stand or, on occasions, in the bus shelter. This time however after investigating into its feasibility, they're apparently going to be taking a more 'elevated' view of the match.

I don't want to say anything in case it doesn't happen but we can only be thankful that, with the position they're reportedly going to be in, Woodley are the visitors and not Garforth or they'd spend most of the game looking like coconuts flying off a shy.

And given what's likely to be the very, very close proximity of the section of the crowd prone to using flowery language, it's possible that this could be the first non-league highlights package shown on Channel M that's either soundless or only shown after midnight; something it almost certainly will be if last weeks loud discussions into what was on offer to eat in the Woodley boardroom takes place again.

I suppose the week wasn't all bad though. City won in Germany, 'Those At The Back' finished second in the quiz and I know that no matter how bad things get I will never be as sad as those people stood outside Ashton Market Hall at six-thirty this morning waiting for it to re-open.